Be the Dad 8. Be the Joyful Dad
Find your Joy
'Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.'
Howard Thurman
Hey Dad’s, let me tell you about how finding your Joy is your source of strength and an important key in enjoying your life and family. At the bottom I have 30+ ways to find joy. Enjoy :)
Bring the Joy
Your Joy and excitement is the sustainable energy source for your family
‘The good man out of the abundance of his heart brings forth good things’. When you have Joy on the inside it will overflow into the people around you. This is one of our key roles in our families, bringing excitement, imagination, joy and energy into each day.
What is it that you love to do that you feel excited about and enjoy? The things that leave you feeling energized and fulfilled; Hobbies, talents, tapping into your unique personality and character, the outdoors and other activities.
Dig deep to find your Joy, it takes effort.
We Dads can get into such a cycle of work, sleep and eating, that we are just going through life on autopilot. When we get into this cycle and are dog tired at the end of the day we can look to ‘numb out’; to look for escapes that take our mind off our busy lives: TV, video games, social media etc. We feel too tired to get out and do an activity that requires just a little more effort but has big rewards. However, with these activities you come alive, get more joy and life becomes more fun and interesting!
Find your unique-ness
I love the scene in the Movie You, Me and Dupree where fun loving, man child Dupree inspires his worried and life-tired friend, Carl, to find his ness. Dupree says ‘Man you are Carl, where is your Carl-ness’, that thing that brings you alive!’
watch it here:
When I go dark and get to this place of tiredness and worry, my wife hits me up and says ‘you need to get your ness back’
So guys, where do you find your ness?
Future bringers of Joy that you haven’t even discovered yet!:
There are activities that you will do in the future that you don’t even know that you will love until you get out there and try them! I love painting and I only discovered that this year! It slows me down, focuses my mind and gives me so much pleasure having created something.
What is your undiscovered thing?
What can you do? Great ideas to find your ‘ness’:
Be you, your personality, your character: weird, funny, imaginative, caring, inspiring - I know I’m winning when people say that I’m weird because that means different and we all need to be the individual that we have been created to be.
The arts - music, poetry, painting, sketching, spoken word, dancing. I am a terrible rapper but I love it, you don’t need to be good at the thing you do to enjoy it. The goal is not to sign a record deal or sell paintings, it is to have fun!
Drawing out in nature is relaxing, enjoyable and energizing for me
Sport - paintball, airsoft, cycling, rugby, cricket etc. And you don’t even need to be good at it, sports are for enjoyment.
Exercise - walking, riding, swimming, running, kayaking, paddle boarding. Doing exercise produces happy chemicals - endorphins
Hobbies - Lego, modelling, radio control cars/planes
Culture- cafe, museums, concerts, architecture, libraries, live sports games,
Experiences- visiting new places, exploring, trying a new thing, animals, meeting new people, riding the bus, hiking.
Helping others - giving, coaching, teaching, leading your local scout group
Factor a time into your day and week to go to this happy place and if it works take your family.
What brings you alive, that you can bring your kids along on?
Digger Dad:
A good friend loves diggers,he has access to these in the business he is part of, he can go with his boys to a farm and drive these and do projects, his young 5 and 3 year old boys go with him and play in the dirt and join in on the activity. I have got no doubt that at some point in the future, his passion will become their passion. The family that plays together, stays together.
Skater Dad:
My brother in law loves skateboarding and the skatepark, guess what? His kids love it now too, learning how to skate, scooter and ride with him in the park. When they get home, all faces are sweaty and beaming.
Joy killers are areas that you need to get on top of to establish joy in your Life:
Worry, not enough sleep, the News, negative friends, using up all your energy and time at work or a poor relationship with your wife or partner.
Words of Wisdom from a Dad who died to early - Don’t miss your opportunity for joy
A family friend that I knew who was a very hard worker and wealthy was diagnosed with Cancer and died young, in his fifties. His words of wisdom on reflecting were: I am envious of the normal working class family who has the weekend off and can go boating and bike riding. He would work massive hours and never reached this place of fun and relaxation due to his shortened life.
So Dads, find your joy, take your Family along and
‘Be the Joyful Dad’.